My baby was born during Spring Break of my 2L year; she’s now fifteen-months-old. To this day, she’s never spent an entire night in her crib. From the day she came home, she took over my bed, kicking my husband out and onto the floor because of our mutual fear that he would crush her in his sleep. Now, she sleeps in the middle. People are very disturbed by this. I would choose to sleep with my little love over my husband any day.
Having a baby while being in law school really hasn’t been as insane a decision as you may think. I think that when you have children, you have to put them first and that that should come naturally and instinctively. I never ever thought I would nurse my child. I actually thought the idea of it was disturbing. I also never thought my child would sleep with me, and that I would snuggle with her every night, but I still do.
So how did I manage to get through law school? Well, I’m not done yet. I became pregnant after my 1L year. Thankfully, my school also has a part-time day program, so I was able to switch to part time the fall semester after she was born. Since then I’ve taken the minimum number of credits possible while raising my little one.
How do I study? Mostly when she naps. It was an absolute breeze when she was an infant, because she slept all the time. Now that she’s a toddler, she plays with her toys and I try to get my work done. Toddlers also sleep 12 hours a day, which gives me a good 4-6 hours to study before she wakes up in the morning.
And class? Who watches her when I go to class? Ohmygosh. I visited two daycares while I was pregnant. One was consistently ranked as the best in my area and had a waiting list that ran over 11 months. My brother called it a sweat shop. I agreed. The other had an incredibly snotty-nosed child and a red-faced baby crying the corner for the 45 minutes I sat to observe. I literally cried as I left because I felt so bad for the babies being ignored by their provided. So then, we went with the auntie down the street. I went and met with a couple desi aunties who lived nearby. Most of them didn’t want me, because I was only willing to give them my child for 6-8 hours a week (the time necessary for me to get to, attend, and get back from class). Then I found this adorable desi auntie who had migrated a few years ago from India. From the moment my husband and I met her, we loved her. My toddler runs up to me and gives me a hug when I show up to pick her up, and then tries to hide when I try to get her to leave. I love that.
What’s the hardest part then? I would say easily that the hardest part was being constantly exhausted when she was born because of her feeding schedule. Newborns wake up every two hours to eat. When these little critters teeth, they wake up ohhhh sometimes every 45 minutes for the entire night. It’s not so fun. Being in school gives me the advantage of having a flexible schedule. When you work, you have to go back after maternity leave, and I doubt teething is a good excuse for your exhaustion and possible diminishing performance.
When you have children, they become your life. Feeling her move inside me when I was pregnant was indescribable. It’s the one thing I miss about being pregnant. If you’re thinking about having a child and you’re in grad school, know that you’re not alone. I went to speak with my Dean of Students to tell her I was pregnant. Her words: “You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. Don’t worry.”
– Samera Usmaani*
*Author’s name has been changed to protect her family’s privacy.
