The women in this military unit wear headscarves, carry weapons, and are trained to handle the delicacies of the situation.  But in the Taliban territory, the men still do not want their wives, sisters and mothers talking to the military – even if it is other women.  What makes matters more difficult is that the interpreters available to this military unit are mostly men.  Almost defeating the purpose of the unit.

Will This Work?

Walking into these territories are is a difficult task to undertake, adding the thought of developing bonds with Afghan women that do not speak the same language as the military makes it more difficult.  The military must obtain permission from the Afghani men to even bring the all women marines to their families; in these tribal areas, without such permission no conversation will even be possible.

But even if the permission is granted, the interpreters involved from both sides tend to be men.  Sometimes the interpreter will be the son of the family, or another male family member.  Sometimes it will be Western man.  Each time, what is lost is the ability and opportunity for the women to be frank with each other.  With men in the room, they will hold their tongues.  If men translate for them, nuances would be lost in translation.  There can be little gained from these exercises at this time.

How Will This Move Forward?

A key factor here is training the women in these special troops in Arabic and/or Pashtu so they have basic conversational skills.  There is also the need for these troops to be armed with female translators that can help put both parties at ease, much more so than having a man in the room can.

Secrets – the type that the military is searching for – are shared between friends.  This is a long process, and there is no doubt changes will be made.  But the effort must become sincere, or no change will be achieved.

– Umber Kareem

July 9th,2009 a date that I will never forget. I remember that date like one would remember some one special’s birthday. It was 5 days past my first wedding anniversary party.  I was 4 months in my pregnancy about to reach 5 months. Just about when the good part was going to start. I was going to find out the gender of the baby. I couldn’t wait to feel him/her kicking or moving inside me.  My mother-in-law use to say the first 3-4 months are always hard but later it gets easy and you will enjoy the rest.

I remember morning sickness like it was yesterday. Getting up every morning and running to the bathroom to throw up. Having Ahmed stand behind me in the bathroom rubbing my back while I am busy vomiting everything I had the night before. And telling him how much I hate him.  Every night Ahmed would place TUC biscuit by my side just in case I get hungry at night. The headaches and backaches and what not other pains I experienced did not matter because Ahmed and I were going to have a baby.

A baby of my own! An innocent child who was going to recognize my heart beat, a MOTHERS heart beat. Who would stop crying every time I would hold him or her. Couldn’t wait for his little tiny hands holding on to my fingers. Those little feet, soft skin, button looking eyes and oh yeah the smell of a baby! That makes you just want to hold the baby so tight until, well until forever and ever!

I, Sana Ahmed was about to experience all that. Every day of my pregnancy was different and I was ecstatic towards this new life I was going to bring.

July 9th 2009, I felt this excruciating pain in my lower right side. My mother-in-law took me to this small clinic near our house. At that time I was relaxed. Not one negative thought went through my head. I was waiting patiently in the waiting room for my name to be called. To this day I still remember what I was thinking while waiting. We just had our first anniversary party and I had invited my cousins and Ahmed’s cousins. Well anyways my name was called and I went in to see Dr. Farzana. Explained to her what I was feeling. She did a very elaborate ultra-sound and told me to go the hospital where I was registered for delivery.  Something was abnormal with the growth of the baby. Even at that time I was calm. I had to be because my mother-in-law was panicking. Called Ahmed as soon as I reached home. In the evening we went to Aga Khan Hospital.

The sonologist at the hospital did a ultra-sound. A lady I didn’t like every much because every time I asked her what was wrong she ignored me. After having that weird mic looking thing on stomach for 10 minutes she told me to go to OPD for a quick consult.

That’s when the tears poured out without any end in sight.

To this point I was very peaceful, being nice to the doctors, talking in Urdu just in case they didn’t understand English but no more. I was confused, scared, crying and I yelled at doctor “What the HELL is wrong with my baby?”

My baby had a cystic hygyoma. A lesion that was noted around the neck area from which the fluid went inside the baby. Hence the abnormal growth. After the first diagnosis we got 2nd, 3rd and even 4th opinion on what to do. All four of them said to get the pregnancy terminated. Because the baby was not going to be normal.

My husband Ahmed, my mother-in-law and I were returning from the hospital just after hearing the devastating news when I mother from Michigan called to ask how I was doing. I started crying just hearing her voice. Couldn’t find the words to tell what I had just been through. Ami got worried and started asking me repeatedly what was wrong, what happened. And the only sentence that came out of my mouth was  mera bache normal nahi hain.” Ahmed’s mother took the phone and told her what was wrong with the baby and etc.

That first whole night I slept in Ahmed’s lap crying and saying to him “Mujko mera bache chahyie.”

The first week of this news we just visited doctors hoping they would advice something other then termination or say we can cure this with medicine, but not one single doctor said anything different. It was either abortion or wait till the fetus died inside. So we waited, praying and asking for a miracle. Asking for forgiveness from allah, from ami and who ever I thought I hurt. Doing everything a helpless person would do to please Allah. In every dua I would ask Allah to give health to my baby and I promise I will never ask for anything else. I will stay happy in any condition or situation you place me in. I’ll be very grateful and on and on!!

A couple of days later the fetus died and I was hospitalized. After three days of waiting the baby was born, well I wouldn’t say born. I still don’t know what to say to this day.

We always think of all the good things that would or could happen to us. Finding a loving husband, getting married, having great in laws and other things. We plan our first valentines together first anniversary and try to make it memorable. But what does one do when your baby is born dead. I thought of everything from A to Z but forgot to plan for the situation I was in at that moment. Oh no wait! I did have a birth plan. I was going to have a normal delivery. I was going to hold my baby in the hands wrapped in a white receiving blanket with my husband by my side. But instead I was handed the baby wrapped around in a white bed sheet. Decided Ahmed was going to give him/her a name put it on black and white. But instead I was handed a death certificate with my signature on it. Was going to go home with a baby all excited for my new life.

But the truth was I was going home without a baby, devastated and hurt to the core of heart.

At home all my in laws were waiting to console me. Telling me how allah has something better planned for me and that obstacles are faced by everyone, one should hope for the best. At that specific moment to me they were just words with no meanings that were coming out of their mouths. I just wanted to be left alone with Ahmed. Few hours later my brother came to visit me and I ran into his arms crying and asking for forgiveness and asking him why Allah hates me? Bhai Jan told me to cry as much as I can let everything out. Hold nothing back. Ahmed and his friends along with my brother took my baby to the cemetery. There they buried him next to Ahmed’s father. So now he is in better place with his Dada Abu.

– Sana Ahmed

Committing suicide on the web proves to be easier than a slit wrist.

When you use social media at any point you are branding yourself for the millions of other people with internet access.  That picture you took while drunk last year when you were “young and stupid” is going to haunt you as you hunt for jobs.  That video of you insulting your manager’s mother may get you fired.  The web is your new personal billboard and we all need to be very careful of what message we’re sending to the people driving by.  Be very careful what you say, who you say it to and how.  Limit the number of outlets your own words reach no matter how good they are.

By limiting your quoted text and images you funnel all traffic to a small set of websites which makes it easier to have things removed at a later time if need be.  For the unfortunate readers who have already made the mistake of social media suicide, don’t fret, you can come back as a phantom.  The one great thing about the web is that, although you can’t make it forget, you can force it to forgive.  A great way to make your bad deeds invisible is to drown them out using the same web to your advantage.  Tag new, more interesting pictures of yourself.  Post lots of interesting videos to drown your old ones out and post dozens of blogs and articles that represent you in the light you wish to be represented.

Having your own website can aid drastically in this mission because it mentions your name time and time again which should make it easier for that to come to the top of any Google or Bing search about you.  Even with the drowning tactic, recovering your full soul after sms is very difficult, therefore the lesson to be learned from this blog is not to flood the web with happy thoughts of you but to make sure that one bad thought never gets there in the first place.  A single wrong act can counter dozens of good ones.  Keep that in mind.

– Nabeel A. Shah

Republished with permission from Global Executive Board.

Tweeting has largely replaced “talking” in many forms.

There is no question that social media outlets such as Twitter are dominating the online community.  A 2009 study conducted by Nielson found that two thirds of the world’s Internet users partake in some form of social media, spending more time on these sites than on e-mail.  So what are some of the risks associated to popular social media such as Twitter?

Before putting your thoughts – especially your company’s thoughts – on the Internet, consider these factors:

Negative Publicity. Not all publicity is good publicity and negative publicity reaches customers and potential investors/employees much faster.  And those negative comments also get re-tweeted!  What can you do as a company:  develop a comprehensive policy as to what employees can say on behalf of the company.

Intellectual Property Exposure without NDAs.  When you introduce your idea to a person or an investor, the first though should be:  how do I protect my idea? Most companies/entrepreneurs do this through the use of an NDA – a “Non Disclosure Agreement.”  By putting your ideas and details about your product online, you are risking your trade secrets and intellectual property!

Investigations.  Think of it this way, if employers do online searches to check out potential employees – regulatory agencies use tools such as Twitter to keep tabs on companies that can be potentially investigated.  Many cases are won and lost through a simple statement made by an employee, a manager, or a company representative.  And Tweets count as a “simple statement.”

– Global Executive Board

Originally published here.